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Jul. 7, 2005
I Got the SWAG Box Blues
SwagBox2Every now and then, I delve into the paraphernalic abyss that is The SWAG Box (SWAG = Stuff We All Get = freebies). Yes, that cardboard treasure chest revealing day after day some of the greatest, and most curious, post-event artifacts known to person-kind.
We've just reached a new low, folks. A completely uninvited sock has infiltrated the swag box. And not just any sock. Not one of those fancy ‘new type’ socks that tend to come in pairs and have everything to live for. No, this is a beast of a different color. Three of 'em.

This is clearly a sullied sock complete WITH........a hole in it’s heel!? W.O.W. This is in no way a sock out to feign ewity. This is a used bike sock, loud in color and apparently proud of its last performance. Preliminary investigation suggests, judging from the position of the hole at heal and sweat-rigor-mortis (a.k.a. sweator mortis**),bowing it slightly to the right, this was last worn on a left foot. So I at least know whoever put that sock in there - joking or otherwise - has a left foot. The pool of suspects has just been narrowed. You know who you are, and soon too will I.

Understandably, other items in the box have migrated to the far end, away from said salty sock, pressing themselves to the thin cardboard barrier denying them any chance for a breath of fresh air. Possibly they will make nice soon. I’ll be sure to report. Ech!

**sweator mortis should not be confused with a term meant to denote the demise of a given sweater fashion. The Ski Lodge Effect brings doubt to the existence of such an ubiquitous identifier.
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