Most of the time, things run pretty smoothly with the machines in the office. But like anything, sometimes a bunch of them break down at once, which leads to a flurry of “did you know such and such a machine isn’t working” e-mails. Don’t get me wrong, I’m only one person, and even though I have eyes in the back of my head, like my first grade teacher Mrs. Pempsal, it would be impossible to be aware of everything at all times—I’d go crazy.

Last week, the two water filters in the 5th-Street kitchen were both out of whack. One wasn’t broken; but because it makes distilled water, it fills up slowly and won’t dispense until it’s full. Mind you, we have another filter in the 4th-Street kitchen and one in the gym, but those require a walk through the building. After about six e-mails complaining about the beeping noise the other filter was making, I called for service and put an out-of-order note on top of the filter.

While I was still in the kitchen washing up some dishes someone left in the sink, I observed a few people pushing the button on the filter and continuing to do this a little harder than normal to see if that would make the water come out. When in doubt, manhandle it and maybe that'll help. I finally taped the note to the front of the filter so that unless you were blind, you couldn’t miss it: "OUT OF ORDER, SERVICE HAS BEEN CALLED!"

I was suddenly reminded of test lab rats tapping the little bar to get their treat but getting a shock instead. Ouch! If only that were possible. Well, I know it sounds cruel but at least things wouldn’t continue to get broken around here.