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Winter is On!
Team CLIF Bar's Winter Stoke Meter is HIGH!
Chris Benchetler getting it good. photo - Peter Morning
Team Clif Bar Blog
Aug 10, 2005
Dodge This, Outdoor Industry!

One may wonder why I am oh, SO looking forward to this year’s Summer Outdoor Retailer show—more than ever before.
One weird word: Dodgeball.

Uh-huh. Thanks to someone’s obvious error in judgment, we’ve been invited to compete in Backpacker’s Outdoor Retailer Dodgeball Challenge.

In the past, we’ve staffed our OR booth with folks who know the Clif goods inside and out. This year, there are a few more requirements on the staffing list.

  • Can’t catch to save your life?

  • Don’t have a cannon attached where one of your arms should be?

  • Ever showed even a weak glimmer of mercy or empathy?

  • Think second place is “pretty good, too”?

  • Don’t agree that chimpanzees should be allowed on dodgeball teams?

Hmmm… guess you’ll be staying home this Summer OR!

We’ve got a mighty long list of rules to study up on courtesy of the refs at Utah Dodgeball. Thanks, fellas & fellettes. Strong work putting all this info together. But what’s up with rule #8: Headshots are not allowed? That’s not what it says on your website.

Is there a more satisfying sound than the KABOING! amplified by one of those reddish-pink balls as it ricochets off some poor sap’s melon? Back in my day of dank, old-school dodgeball arenas, I remember how satisfying it was to watch the ball shoot off some kid’s rasberried forehead—way, way up into the rafters of the gym, seemingly lost somewhere up in the outer atmosphere.

Sure, Utah Dodgeball, we’ll play by the rules—that’s just our style. But, I gotta imagine that in the jalapeño heat of high-stakes competition, palms can get pretty sweaty and reddish-pink rubber dodgeballs can get mighty slippery. Yup, probably not uncommon to see a well-intended throw release a little early and – whoops! – smack dab in some dude’s kisser./p>

“Get another ball, Ref! Maybe the Shuttle crew can pick that one up for us on their way back down to earth.”

That's right!Dodgeball in Salt Lake? Think we’re ready?

Bring it.

Posted by: 
Le Sensation American
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